i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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