you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
