If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
