My balls are so social today.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
