Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
