you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
