i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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