just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
