walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
