It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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