I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
