Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just found puke in my bra..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
