butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
