Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
