i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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