Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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