Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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