Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
