I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
