the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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