new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
