people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
