I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
