Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
