i don't like sucking hair
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My cat gives me a boner
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
