does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
