it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
