He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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