I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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