I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My pussy is not your playground.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
