My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
