oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
