oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
