who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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