whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
