Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
