he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
