Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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