you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
