What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
