guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
