I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
