Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
