Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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