i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
