i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
