His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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