my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
