i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
