Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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