I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Randomize
