You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
