Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
