I'm passing your future prison.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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