honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
