Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
