It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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